I'll have to write about Disney tomorrow

I sat down to write about our time at Disney and just couldn’t figure out how I was going to write about a week at Disney World when my heart was breaking over the loss of our good friend, Bob Timmer. Bob died last Tuesday and this weekend we all flew home to lay Bob to rest. He’s been sick for a long time and when we hugged him goodbye in April, it was with the knowledge that we would likely not see Bob again. He’s been tenaciously fighting brain cancer for eleven years and he had been doing such a good job that we all thought he’d live forever. So when he was diagnosed with a third tumor this winter, we were first in shock, then denial that it was an aggressive glioblastoma this time, stage 4. We talked with Bob and Cathy about postponing our trip because we just couldn’t bring ourselves to feel ok about leaving home when we all needed each other so much. But true to Bob’s nature he insisted that we go. He said that we should carry on with our lives and remember him as the strong and capable man that he was, not the sick man he had become. So Alex and I left in April with heavy hearts, keeping an ear towards home at all times, getting updates from Cathy and speaking to Bob when he was alert enough and Cathy could hold the phone to his ear.

While we were in Disney Alex spoke to Bob one last time. He tearfully told Bob how we had been to Seneca Rocks, where he and Bob had climbed together a few years ago, and how special it was to climb with Jackson on that same rock. After he hung up, Alex looked at me and said, “I have to go home and see him.” See Alex is committed to working in Alaska from May 7 – May 31^st on Denali. He knew that once he was on the mountain, he wouldn’t be able to do anything if the worst happened to Bob. So we scrambled and got him a ticket home. Unfortunately, four days later we got the dreaded call in the middle of the night from Cathy, strong and steady as ever, telling us that Bob had died. So one plane ticket became four and we made our way home to wrap our arms around our friends and honor the amazing man we knew as Bob Timmer.

I’ve never been so proud to be in the company of such incredible people. I was amazed at how strong Cathy was, crying only here and there, still able to laugh and make jokes with her usual quick wit and irreverence. She and Bob loved each other and were fiercely loyal to each other. I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose such a partner. I was also amazed to see how quickly friends came together to hold Cathy, Jacob and Josh (their sons) up. Emily who rarely left Cathy’s side, Brandi and her gramdma who swooped in and arranged for a reception in Waterville, Debbie who helped with the service and Cathy’s other friends at the bank, steadfast in their foodprep and words of support these last few months. And most of all, my beloved. Alex has spent an immeasurable amount of time with Bob, climbing, sharing building projects as well as their deepest thoughts on the world and their place in it. Despite his grief, Alex had the strength and presence of mind to write a thoughtful eulogy that captured Bob’s essence. He was able to deliver his loving tribute despite his own overwhelming sadness. It was such an honor to him to be given the opportunity to do that for Bob.

So again, it’s with a heavy heart that I leave Vermont. Alex is on his way to Alaska to work and the kids and I will find our own way over the next 3 weeks. My mom is flying out to keep us company and I plan to spend some quality time with one of my oldest friends, Sus, who lives in Phoenix. We’ve been friends for 30 years, so to be near her will be a great comfort. We may even be able to talk some of our VT friends into meeting us in California at some point along the way. Who knows? That’s the beauty of this trip.

Five days before Bob died I had the privilege of talking to him on the phone. I caught him in a rare moment when he was actually able to talk to me. He couldn’t say much, but I understood him when he asked me, “Are you having fun?” When I assured him, through tears, that yes, we were indeed having fun on our trip, he said simply, “Good. Keep having fun.” I promised him we would.

But I'll have to write about Disney tomorrow.